Stressed or Burned Out? How Unaddressed Childhood Experiences Can Make Adulting Harder

You’ve been managing everything for so long.

You’re smart, capable, and goal-oriented.

You’ve been showing up, getting things done, and doing your best.

On the outside, you’ve probably made it a point to look like you have it together. But, it’s all starting to feel, or has been feeling, like “too much”. On the inside, you’re just going through the motions, or you feel like you should be good, but something isn’t quite right.

If you have found yourself asking, “what’s wrong with me?”, “why am I so exhausted?”, “why does this feel so hard?”, then you may be dealing with burnout.

What is burnout?

Burnout can look or feel like being stressed. You may experience physical symptoms that look like stress such as headaches, sleep problems, or fatigue.

Unlike stress, which is typically short-term and passes once the stressor/trigger is over, burnout is an extended period of feeling detached from yourself, emotionally exhausted, and/or unaccomplished.

Burnout is often associated with work but can be related to any situation that requires constant effort without an adequate recovery period.

Adverse Childhood Experiences and Burnout

What happens early in our lives shapes our brain, body, thoughts, and emotions.

If you grew up in an environment that was:

• Unpredictable
• Chaotic
• Lacking warmth

or where you

• Had to grow up fast
• Were treated like the black sheep
• Were criticized often

Then you may have had a childhood that increased your chances of experiencing burnout and other mental health challenges. These types of childhood experiences can make day-to-day functioning more challenging and increase your chances of developing a mental health condition.

If you grew up feeling unsafe, unseen, or like you had to be “on” all the time, then you might show up in your life as highly responsible, overly attuned to the needs of others, or be extremely hard on yourself. After operating in that way for so long, it makes sense that you feel more overwhelmed or disengaged as an adult.

This is not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of what you’ve been through.

Signs it May be More than Stress

If you’re noticing lasting feelings of emotional exhaustion or a sense that you’re failing at life despite doing your best, you may be experiencing burnout. Below are some signs to pay attention to:

• You feel exhausted, on edge, or numb. Or you feel stuck or blocked.
• You feel emotionally or mentally exhausted most days even when nothing’s wrong
• You’re more irritable, distant or number with loved ones
• You’re more socially withdrawn
• You keep up appearances but struggle to concentrate, remember things, or follow through

On top of these feelings, feelings related to your experiences may surface and feelings of burnout may be accompanied by feelings of shame, worthlessness, or a fear of being a burden.

Burnout plus unaddressed childhood experiences can make adulting harder than it should be.

How therapy can make adulting easier

It can be hard to figure out why you are experiencing burnout. It may be necessary to talk about how your experiences have affected you. Research consistently shows that past childhood experiences are linked to adult functioning and mental health. By understanding what has happened to you, you can understand what is currently happening to you.

If any of this sounds like you, you’re not overthinking it and you are not alone.

Therapy can offer a space to process and understand how your experiences contribute to your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Trauma-focused therapy focuses on everything that makes you YOU while helping you figure out the YOU you want to be.

If you’d like to learn more about trauma-focused therapy and you live in North Carolina, complete the inquiry form today to get started.